The times in my life when I’m straining for joy, when my patience is vanishing and I’m discouraged, I am usually reluctant to see the bigger picture. I only see my hardship, and long for it to end.
In those hard times, I am blind to the fact that when I feel pressed, it is the Sovereign God doing the pressing. He is at work, molding me. And I am at work resisting Him. I squirm and wiggle, complain and ask ‘Are we done yet?’ a hundred times like a little toddler on a long road trip.
I resist Him, I harden myself, I give in to bitterness and negativity. Yet, He patiently teaches me.
I want to develop a sense of it. I want to learn to recognize it and call it by its name. I want to know that the feeling of all hardship, is His hands on my heart.
For what in this life is greater than His Glorious work in me? What better gift can I ask for but His skillful hand in the removal of my sinful cancer? What is sweeter and more comforting than knowing that He is healing me, and one day I will be sin free?
I am to count it all joy. I am to be soft clay in his hands. I ought to give in to His work, not harden against it.
He presses, He devastates, He ruins, He carves and breaks and shatters. And it hurts. It is painful to yield to the wave that will throw me against the cliffside. It is difficult to welcome pain, loss and heartache.
But I know that the price of dying a thousand deaths is worth the glory of obtaining the Great ‘I Am’. At the work of His Loving hands I will only win. I will be less of me and more of Him.
I want to develop the sense of His hands on my heart. I want to recognize it. I want resist my urge to harden myself and learn to give in.
His cares to know me, He cares to work on my stubborn pride. He cares to give me His glorious Self.
What better position in this universe can I hold but to have the King take my ashes and work them into beauty?